There is was a Cracked(r) or Mad(r) Magazine spoof many decades ago of the 1985 movie "Cocoon" In one panel the young man spying on a hot girl changing, says "Take it off"   She takes her face off.

Some times things are not received in the way we expect and the behavior of others can baffle.  I'm feeling a little silly this week so feel free to be as campy or as serious as you want to be with the prompt.

Judge

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This week's judge is the amazing Chessny Silth.

Happily newlywed, with two hysterical Budgies. Former martial artist, almost-journalist as a result from Broadcast Journalism (England), and now a housewife with an urge to have everything in its place. Mostly occupied by an overwhelming urge to write, read and learn.

Currently working on a YA fantasy trilogy, and having a hard time making the trolls, goblins and mermaids see eye to eye.

The Prompt

Well, that was unexpected

The Rules

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  1. The story must start from the prompt.  This means the prompt must be the
    first words in the story.
  2. No more than 500 words (not including the prompt).  No less than 100 words.
  3. Any genre (in fact an unexpected genre will get you more points.)
  4. Entries must be submitted by Tuesday Noon EST
  5. The winner of each week's competition will be invited to judge the following week and post the winner's badge similar to the one on the right.
  6. Have fun!

Silly Sample

Seinen… Sorta
By Wakefield Mahon

" Well that was unexpected!"

Hiro coughed up blood as Onee-sama sank her sword deep in his belly.

###

Hiro walked home with his friends from New Tokyo High School. 

“Hey Hiro, why do we always walk home with Hime-dono?  I think she scares all of the boing-boing away,” Baka-chan said indicating large breasts with his hands.
Hime, hit Baka in the head with her book bag.  “As class president, it’s my job to keep you from getting your fellow classmate in trouble.”

Hiro shrugged and grinned sheepishly.  He wasn’t looking where he was going and run into a girl, who wasn’t paying attention either.  Hiro fell on top of the girl accidently touching her oversized breasts.

“Two points for Hiro!” Baka yelled.

Hime hit him with her books again.

Hiro helped the girl up and apologized profusely to the girl who apologized just as profusely.

Hime immediately dislikes the girl.  Meanwhile, a mysterious girl watched from the shadows.

Onee-sama asks Hiro why he was so late coming home, she already has dinner and his bath ready.  His big sister has been acting as a surrogate since their parents are away on business.

“What are you doing Onee-sama?”

“You smell like… you’ve been with a girl”

Hiro waved his hands. “No, no it’s nothing like that. I just ran into someone on accident.”

Angelica, the girl Hiro ran into, joined the school as a transfer student the next day.

As the four of them are walking home the next day, a limousine pulls up and a beautiful girl steps out, immediately smitten with Hiro.  Hime laments Hiro’s growing harem while the mysterious girl frowns in the shadows.

Okane, the rich girl joins the school as a transfer student the next day, followed the following week by the mysterious girl, Iroke.

Okane invites all of the friends to go to her father’s private beach where they play in the water and Hiro teaches, shy Iroke how to swim.

They all go to the hot springs.  The girls compare breast sizes. Baka tries to sneak a peek, but Hiro gets blamed earning him a frying pan from Hime.  While he’s out, she says “Why can’t you just be mine?”

In a quiet moment, both Angelica and Hiro reveal they can’t remember their past

Iroke is supposed to be a succubus but she’s flat-chested and shy.  Her older sister, a big-bosomed loud drunkard of a woman prods her to awaken Hiro before Angelica gets to him. 

***

Hiro is six years old. A girl whose face he couldn’t quite remember kisses him.  “We’re bound together forever.  Please love only me!”

***

Hiro assumes Angelica must be the girl from his one memory and asks her to go out with him during the Tanbata festival

###

“As a shrine priestess, it is my sacred duty to save the world, should the demon in you arise”

Tears streamed down her face as Hiro slumped to over.  “I... I loved you Hiro-kun!  I told you to only love me.”

502 very ineligible very silly words.

Two points if you can guess which anime/manga inspired this story.  Three points if you can name ten anime with almost the exact same plot ;)
 


Comments

Robin Abess
08/27/2012 10:53

New Neighbors

“Well, that was unexpected.”

Jennifer watched the puppy dash around the backyard, sniffing around the shadows and lifting his fuzzy leg to mark his territory.

Earlier in the week, Jennifer met the neighbors that had just moved in next door. She noticed an adorable little boy playing in the front yard and stopped to talk to him. She loved children, and babysat often.

“Hi there!” She smiled at the child, and he eyed her warily, then grinned back. She guessed him to be about five. “What’s your name? I’m Jennifer.”

“I’m not s’posed to talk to strangers,” was his reply. Just then, the front door opened and an attractive young woman came outside. She smiled at Jennifer and introduced herself as Eric’s mother, Barbara Henderson. They chatted for a bit and then Barbara asked her if she ever babysat.

“Oh yes. I love kids.”

“Would you be available to sit for me this coming weekend? I have a…convention of sorts to attend, and Eric is too young to attend yet.”

Jennifer wondered what kind of convention, but figured it was none of her business, so she had simply nodded and they agreed upon a time and price. As Jennifer started back on her way, she had waved to Eric, and he waved back.

The week passed fairly quickly and Jennifer was at the Henderson’s promptly at six o’clock as promised. Barbara let her in. She was dressed very casually, in comfortable clothes, and the girl couldn’t help but wonder again what kind of convention she was attending.

“Eric has had his supper and his bath, so he shouldn’t give you any trouble. In fact, he’ll be ready for bed soon. I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m leaving you the phone number for Eric’s grandmother just in case. I won’t be reachable until I return.”

She had gone in and kissed the sleepy little boy and gave him a hug. “I love you, Sweetie. See you tomorrow.” He nodded, engrossed in watching ‘Lady and the Tramp’. Waving goodbye, Barbara had left and Jennifer had joined Eric on the couch. He cuddled into her and she stroked his thick dark hair gently. When she felt him relax, she lifted him and carried him to his room, tucking him in, leaving the door cracked.

The hour grew late, and Jennifer heard noises from Eric’s room. She tiptoed in, trying not to wake him, and saw to her surprise a dark brown puppy sitting in the boy’s bed, and Eric was nowhere to be found.

“What in the world?! Eric, where are you?”

The pup jumped down from the bed and reared up on her legs, begging for attention. She picked him up, and carried him with her as she searched for the boy. He was gone. Panicked, she called his name, and each time, the pup yipped. Suddenly she stopped and stared at him.

“Eric?”

He licked her cheek. Sighing, she took him out into the backyard, where the full moon shone brightly.

499 words {without title}
@Angelique_Rider

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08/27/2012 13:54

Well that was unexpected! What a lucky woman I am, I thought staring at my workplace in shock. It’s all about being at the right place at the right time. But I’m getting ahead of myself in telling you this story.
It all began this morning my alarm went off a half an hour later than I was sure I’d set it. Instead of taking twenty minutes to shower, I narrowed it to ten minutes in super human speed. I had to arrive on time to work; I must complete a lot of paperwork today.
I grabbed a banana and jumped into my car heading to work, right back on schedule. I reached the first stop light and cursed, as I hit a red light coming to a stop. Luckily I did, for a car jumped the green light and sailed through not waiting for traffic to stop. I continued on my journey and was stopped by construction. Funny it wasn’t there yesterday. The foreman stopped me for fifteen minutes, so I tried to make up the time by speeding. Wouldn’t you know, I was pulled over by a cop? Twenty five minutes and a ticket for speeding, arriving to the driveway to work more than forty minutes late. I stared in shock at the building. The building was wide open, the wall gone and open to the elements; where my desk usually stood, was a crushed metal mound of desk, chair and file cabinet. I asked coworkers and had found out this happened forty minutes ago. A transport trucks brakes had failed. The driver had lost control crashing into the building. Luckily no one was harmed. If I had arrived on time I would be dead. As I stared at the aftermath of crash, I swear I saw a figure with wings amongst the crushed metal who gave a nod to me, smiled and disappeared. Like I said I am a lucky woman. I had a guardian angel looking after me, who delayed me just long enough that I survived.
341 words
@SweetSheil

Reply
08/27/2012 15:59

Well, that was unexpected.

The last few moments played back in my mind frame by frame, slowed by the utter shock that gripped my mind.

Ayana was a sweet girl. Always had been. So, to find that she was the person sent to kill me was quite a surprise. I didn’t see it until the very last moment.

She always had the damned Hello Kitty bag. Today was no different and I paid it no mind, the same way I paid her no mind. Until I heard that too-familiar click.

I turned slowly, hands out. She stood comfortably, arm loose at her side, gun pointed at my head. She wouldn’t have to do much to make it count considering how close she was.

I hadn’t noticed how much she’d grown since she started working for me. She’d come a scraggly 15-year-old, scarred, withdrawn. There wasn’t a lot for a young girl to do as a private investigation agency, but I found things for her here and there. Having something to do seemed to have worked well for her.

Five years later, I saw no trace of that girl behind the gun.

“A little unnecessary to cock the gun, don’t you think?” I asked, trying to be flippant. I didn’t know what would work with her. I’d never studied her as an enemy.

“It got you to turn around,” she answered plainly.

I shrugged. “You could have just called my name. Hell, you could have just shot me. Why the theatrics?”

“Isn’t that part of this whole thing?” she asked. I wasn’t quite sure what she was referring to. This job? Her killing me? Her backstabbing me? Her life?

“Not for everybody it’s not,” I said, finding my teeth gritted, my jaw aching. I could try for my gun. Wasn’t it worth trying?

“I like it, though. The showy part of,” she paused, waving the gun around a bit. “Playing cops and robbers.”

“We’re not playing,” I said, looking pointedly at her gun.

“No one ever said a game couldn’t be serious,” she said. “I’m still playing even if the piece is real.” She took a step toward me and I didn’t move backwards. She seemed surprised and continued to stare into my face for long, choking moments. “Aren’t you going to ask why?”

“It doesn’t really matter to me,” I grunted.

“Sure it does,” she laughed, taking another step closer. I could smell her hair. It was just as sweet as her. “And it’s not because I didn’t like you.” She got on her toes, gun pressing into my chest. “I liked you.” She kissed my mouth, her lips soft, dry. She moved her mouth across my neck. “I liked you a lot. But this served my purpose.” I didn’t ask what that purpose was. “It’s hard to set up Farraway without a dead body to blame him for,” she murmured.

A light bulb went off just as the gun did. They were both unexpected.

@J_M_Blackman
495

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08/27/2012 17:03

“Well, that was unexpected,” my father said as I helped him up and tried to wipe the ketchup and barbecue sauce from his clothes.

Police sirens wailed and babies cried while pieces of the wall continued to crumble around the forced entry. A few sparks flew from the bottom of the car as the tow truck strained to pull the car over the rubble and through the giant hole. The tubes that once hooked into the soda machine continued to spray soda all over the destroyed condiment stand. Paramedics treated a few of the employees for scratches and bruises, but the only real victim was the owner’s wallet.

“I want you to catch him and I want you to hang him from the tallest tree in the city,” the owner told the young police officer taking his statement. “Then I’ll put him in my deep fryer and I’ll eat him!”

The young officer walked over to us, scribbling in his note pad and shaking his head. “I hope you two have a better idea of what really happened than the rest of them. This is insane.”

“Well,” my father started, “I do have another minor detail to add.”

The police officer looked up from his notepad with eager eyes. “Anything would help.”

“After the car plowed through the wall and the dog hopped out of the driver’s side door, he took one of my burgers before running through the front door.”

The officer’s face turned red and he walked away, throwing his hands into the air.

@hlpauff – 257 words

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08/27/2012 21:03

PROTOTYPE

“Well, that was unexpected,” Lord Cameron whistled.

Professor Kato looked up from the smoking girl sprawled on the ground between them—the wild-haired professor’s already wide eyes magnified by his large goggles.

“Uh, well, sir… That is, I can explain!”

“No need,” the pale young man raised a delicate hand. “Can you fix her?”

“Ah, yes…” Kato brushed dark hair delicately away from the face of the fallen maid. “It was just, a power surge. An unexpected interaction with the… with the vacuum cleaner, of all things…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Cameron smiled. “You’ve really outdone yourself with this one, she looks so real. I’d gladly pay any price to iron out any technical difficulties and see her fully functional.”

Spouting obsequious platitudes, the white-frocked professor groveled until his eccentric benefactor had gone from sight. The maid in his arms was raven haired; firm skinned and had been very properly uniformed until something had ignited under the surface of her dress. Sensitive computer chips made a good excuse to get the fire out as quickly as possible, but only with his employer gone did Kato feel safe to lean in and really check for damage.

“Mei, are you alright?”

Groaning, the maid in his arms cracked an eyelid. “Dad, what the fuck happened?”

“I don’t know,” The weeping old man wrapped his arms around his daughter. “Something wrong with the exo-frame, I’ll need to take it apart and run a full analysis.”

Stiffly Mei returned her father’s embrace, “Is all this really worth pretending I’m one of your robots?”

“I promised your mother in heaven whatever it took you’d walk again.”


271 words
@DavidALudwig

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Rebekah Postupak
08/28/2012 06:38

“Well, that was unexpected,” murmured Gene, getting to his feet hurriedly and brushing imaginary dust kittens off his blazer. He tried very hard to avoid looking at Chantelle, but her pale skin and red-stained lips glowed in his peripheral vision, like one of those headachy neon signs at an all-night diner.

Chantelle didn’t say anything.

“So, um, what happens next?” he said after an awkward silence. He was studying his shoes now, serenly polished and black as coal. He wished he’d worn his steel-tipped boots instead. And eaten garlic for dinner. “Can I go, or…?”

“Do whatever you please,” hissed Chantelle. “I’m not your mother.”

Gene’s cheeks tinged slightly. “Sorry. I just wondered if there was protocol for situations like this.”

“Situations like what? This is not a special situation!” She stomped a high-heeled foot. “I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

Gene inched closer to the door, carefully counting ceiling tiles. “So, see you at the office, then?”

“It’s your life!” snapped Chantelle. She clapped a horrified hand over her mouth too late, leaving the words dangling ironically between them, as painless and forgettable as her impotent fangs.

189 words
@postupak

Reply
08/28/2012 07:36

“Well, that was unexpected.”

“That’s all you have to say for yourself?”

“What else can I say? Who would’a thunk that tossin’ my banana peel on t’that there pile would’a caused that avalanche of sorts?”

“Anyone with half a brain, that’s who!”

“Aw, Come on! I got more’n half! Just a’cause I don’t talk so smooth, doesn’t mean I’m dumb or nuthin’.”

“What about the rest of it?”

“Well, how’s I t’know Billy’d be comin’ outta the kitchen right then? I ain’t a magician!”

“You mean a fortune teller?”

“Whatever. Either way I can’t see through that there door, so how can you blame me for’is fall?”

“It was your mess he stepped in!”

“Yeah, but he didn’t have t’go and toss all that coffee in t’the air, now did’ee? Dropped that coffee right in t’Susan’s lap, he did. I never heard such a shriek – was ev’n louder’n the crash of the crockery.”

“But it didn’t stop there.”

“It certainly wasn’t my fault that Susan chucked her fork across the room! How you gonna blame that on me too!”

“You started it.”

“But it was pure, dumb luck that it hit that lightbulb that shattered on poor Burt and shorted the ‘lectricity out!”

“Luck?!?!”

“Well, t’opposite of luck then, but how could anyone predict Burt catchin’ the edge o’his plate when he went to shield hisself and sending the thing flippin’ across t’table and clockin’ Doris in the head?”

“No one.”

“’Zactly! That’s a one in a’hundred shot that he catch’er right on the temple and knock’er out cold. He couldn’t’a tried t’do that! Not that he was tryin’ a’course.”

“Of course.”

“Well, what was Doris doin’ tuckin’ that table cloth in t’er pants like that? When she fell backwards it pulled the whole thing off! It would’a ended dere if Martin hadn’t’a tried to help.”

“At least he was trying!”

“Yeah, well, we see where that got’im! All tied up in that tablecloth and stumblin’ hisself halfway across t’room! Not so helpful, that.”

“That’s an understatement!”

“I know! Maybe he got some sense knocked in t’him when the front door opened right on t’his head!”

“I just hope he’s not unconscious too!”

“Well, then the suit managed to slip on a piece a’that there crockery when he backed up to get a’look a’what he done and in the process a’fallin’ on his butt he done chucked his briefcase across the bar and on t’the stove! Nobody even know’d he’ad a cigarette in’is hand until the grease fire started.”

“Thank God Pops was there!”

“Sure ‘nough, Pops was thinkin’ on’is feet when he pulled that fire ‘stinguisher down! That could’a been bad.”

“Could’ve been? Did you not hear everything you just said? How could it have been worse?”

“Oh, Maddie, you don’ wanna go sayin’ things like that!”

“Why ever not?”

“I think the suit’ad somethin’ in’is bag… It’s movin’…”

@lissajean7
480 words

Reply
08/28/2012 07:50

“Well, that was unexpected, wasn’t it?”

Gregor laughed as he wiped the bloody remnants of the Korean shopkeeper from his face. His head had literally exploded with the gunshot.

“Quick, grab the cash. Police will be here any minute.”

They ransacked the register, stuffing bills into their pockets. Viktor grabbed a dozen cartons of cigarettes and stashed them in a bag. Gregor grabbed a chocolate bar from the counter. As if the enormous man needed any more fattening foods.

Out the door and into the SUV they ran. Viktor started it up, and off they went down the boulevard, passing at least four police cruisers. It took all the willpower Viktor had to not stomp on the accelerator as the cops zoomed by, but as long as they were going in the opposite direction, they would be fine.

“You won’t get away with this.”

Gregor spun around in his seat at the voice behind him. He then screamed like a girl when he saw the man sitting there. The shopkeeper. As if he were merely taking a ride with them, his head fully intact.

Viktor nearly wrecked the car, swerving to avoid a slow-moving sedan. How in the hell?

Gregor unloaded his clip into the man, and the tiny little fellow cried out as the bullets pierced his chest. Viktor yanked the wheel hard into the parking lot of a gas station, and they both jumped out and ran away. How was that even possible?

Viktor saw a patron leave his car to go inside, and he nodded at Gregor toward the vehicle. They both ran over, jumped inside, and took off speeding back down the boulevard until they finally stopped at a red light a half of a mile away.

“Was that a ghost?”

“I don’t know, Gregor.”

As they waited for the light to turn, a hard knock on the side window spooked them both, and they turned and screamed. There was the Korean shopkeeper again, his head in one piece, his chest absent of bullet holes.

“Keep shooting me, punks. I’ll just keep coming back.”

Gregor raised his gun again, having reloaded, but Viktor held up his hand to stop him.

“What do you want from us, dead man?”

“Nothing but justice and retribution.”

Gregor again raised his weapon, but Viktor shook his head no and grabbed the stolen money and merchandise. He tossed it out the window at the small Asian man, who just looked at it with indifference.

“There, take it! Leave us alone!”

Just then a swarm of police cruisers arrived from all four directions. The two thugs tossed down their guns and were apprehended. As they were being led to a police vehicle, they heard an officer say, “That’s a nifty phone you have there, Mr. Samsung.”

At which point the shopkeeper replied, “Yes, my family’s newest model. Transatomic projection. Now you can be two places at once. All you need is a transmitter, like the one I keep in the cash register.”

500 words
@rastrohman

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08/28/2012 08:01

Well, that was unexpected.

The wind blew through the back screen door, knocked over my easel, spilled paint all over my carpet and ruined my painting. I’ve been working on that for months.

Wretched wind.

I got up and slammed the door shut, breaking a nail in the process. On my way back to my work, I stepped on one of the brushes in my bare feet, the surprise of it making me hop onto the other foot.
The ungainly movement tipped me in the direction of the china hutch, which broke what would have been my fall and also many of my teacups. Covington Court was a hard to come by and expensive pattern.

Damn wind.

Leaning over to right my easel, I bumped my head on the corner of the end table next to the couch, which toppled my now deceased parents wedding photo. The face-forward fall broke the glass, a shard of which left a huge gouge in the photo. It’s irreplaceable.

Stupid effing wind!

I sat down on the couch, took a deep breath and closed my eyes. From the backyard came a soft tinkling sound, a windchime made by my daughter for Mother’s Day when she was twelve. The sound washed over me, reminding me of her laughter and suddenly I no longer cared about the carnage in my living room.

Beautiful wind.

228 words
@mariefrizelle

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Nellie
08/28/2012 08:10

Well, that was unexpected. Benjamin looked down at the knife that was sticking out of his stomach and looked up at the woman who had put it there. He had thought that job might have been too easy. He was right.

She wiped a tear off her face and adjusted the cute hat that was settled on platinum blonde hair. “I told you not to get in my way. For a private dick, you sure are nosy.”

He coughed up some blood. “That’s my job, ma’am. You were the one who hired me, after all.”

“Yes, but I didn’t ask you to be nosy about me. I’m the one in distress after all.”

“You’re something all right, I wouldn’t call it distress though.”

She glowered before putting one stiletto on the end of the knife. “I heard that stomach wounds are horrible. A slow, miserable death.”

“Being married to you must have been the same. Maybe that’s why he cheated on you with the chauffer. I thought he was pretty cute as well.” He gave a weak grin.

For a pretty dame, her face twisted and became ugly really fast and she pressed down on the knife. “SHUT UP! Don’t you say that!”

He gave a cry out, writhing on the floor. Bad enough he was bleeding all over the nice hard floor but she was enjoying it to much.

A gun shot and she staggered back, looking at the blossoming stain on her pink dress. Her mouth opened and closed like a landed bass before falling backwards.

Benjamin closed his eyes and let out a rattling breath. “Dames.”

269 words
@solimond

----

Hmm...haven't watched a lot of school style animes.

It seems familiar but I can't get the name. And the one school anime I had watched didn't have a flat chested succubus. :) Rosario+Vampire.

Reply
08/28/2012 08:43

Well. That was unexpected.

I came to on a freezing tiled floor, an anxious hand tapping my cheek. The room around mixed locker room and disinfectants. What an awful combination.

“Miss? Ohmygosh, please wake up. Are you okay?” The equally anxious voice continued in time with the tapping. “You’re breathing, that’s good. Um. What else do I check for?”

I lifted a weak hand in self-defense, nearly scaring a decade off my worrier’s life if I could judge by her scream.

“I’m sorry,” she said, “so, so sorry.”

“I’m okay,” I said. Almost sounded like I meant it, too.

Opening one cautious eye, I took in the admittedly limited view from my current location. I saw enough.

Seriously? The floor of a public bathroom?

“How long have I been out?”

“Not too long,” she said. “Had a customer in here not ten minutes ago.”

About the usual, then.

“I came in to tidy up and found you. You can’t imagine my relief in finding you breathing.”

“I’m fairly relieved myself,” I said.

“Can I help you up?” A woman sat on her knees next to me, heedless of the floor. She looked like the neat type, the kind who would consider kneeling on a bathroom floor a big deal. But her kind expression said otherwise.

I accepted the hand she offered with a thank you and sat up. The room did a spinny move I usually only saw my washing machine manage. Saliva coated my mouth in warning.

“I’m gonna be sick.” I groaned, scrambling to my feet and nearly hurling myself head first into a toilet. I heard water running and when I finished offering my guts up to the porcelain gods, soft hands wiped my face clean with damp towels.

“You’re in your pajamas,” she said. “How did you even get in here without me noticing?”

I wish I knew. I listened for sounds of trouble, but only heard something soft and classical. A bell chimed. Another customer.

“This happens often?” she asked.

“Often enough,” I said. “Thank you for helping me.”

“I almost called 911,” she said. “I probably should have done.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I swear I’ve seen your face before.”

Startled, I looked up to her. She held out a paper cup of water, her eyes bright with some emotion I couldn’t decipher. I gulped the water, hoping to clear my head.

“I have,” she said. “I’ve seen you on the news, right? You saved a family from a house fire. And the little boy who nearly drowned. You even foiled a bank robbery.”

Awe. That was the emotion I saw.

“How do you do it?”

“I don’t,” I admitted. “I just show up where I’m needed.”

Generally right when I was needed, as well.

“But here?” Her brow furrowed. “This is just an antique shop. Nothing much exciting happens here.”

A crash from beyond the bathroom had me pressing a hand to her mouth for silence.

“I think your luck just changed,” I whispered.

@caramichaels
500 words

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