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"Did you find it?"

"It has to be in here somewhere."

"It better be after tearing out the plaster."

"I think I found it."

"Can you get it?  Be careful."

"This must be the mama it's been dead for a while."

"The babies must be there somewhere.  I heard the scratching last night.  There it is again!"

"That's Morse code!"

"Are you sure?"

"I've been a Morse code interceptor for 11 years; I think I know it when I hear it."

"What does it say?"

"You've got to be kidding."

"What?"

"It says 'I've got your mouse trap right here.'"


5/4/2012 01:16:27 am

A funny twist...that was a drastic move to get to those mice...smile.

Here is mine: http://integrativethought.wordpress.com

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Wakefield Mahon
5/4/2012 09:24:33 am

Thanks for stopping by!

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5/4/2012 01:37:38 am

Great and interesting dialogue. Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/fridayfictioneers-lost-without-you/

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Wakefield Mahon
5/4/2012 09:27:08 am

I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for dropping by!

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5/4/2012 01:40:45 am

THIS close to a spit-take. Brilliant! Here's one back atcha. HAHA, oh that made my morning.

http://notforallmarkets.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/the-beholder/

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Wakefield Mahon
5/4/2012 09:32:10 am

Glad I could make you laugh! Thanks for dropping by!

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5/4/2012 02:05:04 am

Mice with a sense of humor. I like it.

Here's mine: http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/

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Wakefield Mahon
5/4/2012 09:40:22 am

Glad you liked it. Thank you for commenting.

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5/4/2012 02:16:50 am

Thanks for making me smile. Brilliant take on the prompt. Well done.

http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/dysfunctional-friday-fictioneers-may-2012/

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Wakefield Mahon
5/4/2012 09:46:35 am

I'm glad I could make you smile. I'd hate to end up like Amontillado ;) Thanks for stopping by!

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5/4/2012 02:34:16 am

Fun dialogue and clever conclusion. :)

Mine's at http://whimsicalquestsofacuriousmind.blogspot.com/

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Wakefield Mahon
5/4/2012 09:55:03 am

Thanks Jess. I appreciate you stopping by!

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5/4/2012 03:53:18 am

Great twist, morse code literate mice. Are we all in trouble or what?

Here's mine:http://teschoenborn.com/2012/05/03/friday-fictioneers-the-gig/

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Wakefield
5/4/2012 10:02:46 am

Loved your twist too! Thanks for stopping by!

I think mice would make excellent spies. :D

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5/4/2012 04:54:44 am

Works well, and with dialogue alone! Very nice. Glad someone took the prompt in this direction.

Brian (here's mine: http://pinionpost.com/2012/05/04/renovations/)

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Wakefield
5/4/2012 10:10:47 am

Thanks for stopping by Brian. I'm glad you liked it. I find with 100 words it is very difficult for me to establish a story beyond dialog. I'm getting sloppy in my old age ;)

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5/4/2012 05:44:39 am

Smart, funny mice--I'm still chuckling. Well done!

Mine: http://www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html

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Wakefield
5/4/2012 01:02:27 pm

Glad I could make you laugh. I enjoyed your story too. Thanks for stopping by and leaving your comments!

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5/4/2012 07:38:21 am

That made me laugh out loud. It was a good laugh, too.
Thanks for that.
Yours as ever,
Lindaura
http://fictionvictimtoo.blogspot.com

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Wakefield
5/4/2012 01:16:18 pm

Yours made me laugh too, but for a different reason. :D Seriously, yours was beautiful and poignant and I appreciate you stopping by to comment on my story. Thanks Linda, Laura, Lindaura.... I give up yeah you with the face

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lora
5/4/2012 01:57:00 pm

As with the other readers, you had me chuckling. Nice surprise twist. A delight after so many dark, chilling stories. Here's mine:
www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

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Wakefield
5/4/2012 11:40:39 pm

Thank you for commenting Lora. Some weeks you just have to have fun right?

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5/4/2012 02:19:33 pm

Funny little piece. A whole lot of work to get to some mice. Intelligent mice, at that.

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Wakefield
5/4/2012 11:42:46 pm

No worse than mousetrap the movie :D Thanks for stopping by

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5/4/2012 07:11:36 pm

Cool how it's entirely dialogue, that's a risky way of writing but it worked really well,

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Wakefield
5/4/2012 11:51:54 pm

Thank you!

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5/4/2012 08:21:26 pm

I don't like dialogue as bare as this; its less effective, and it makes me focus less on the words and more on the pace. I skip over the words, making me read the text like a tennis ball moving back and forth across a court.

Having said that, dialogue can reveal a scene, and this one was an interesting one. Dead animals in a wall, and a mysterious Morse code message... maybe there's someone on the other side?

I can see, looking back at the picture, how you got this. But its still surprising and original of you. Good job.

http://littlewonder2.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/friday-fictioneers-suicide-shed/

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Wakefield
5/4/2012 11:50:36 pm

I agree about the sparse dialogue. I wish I had more words for this particular story, but I believe dialogue done really well can be highly effective.

Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting!

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5/5/2012 03:04:29 am

OMG intelligent vermin. I'm not sure whats worse, that there's rodents or that they know morse code. I shall wave the danger flag. Great story. Here's mine: http://remakingme-atiyatownes.blogspot.com/2012/05/fixer-upper-friday-flash-fiction.html

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5/5/2012 06:45:35 am

Love it! The dialogue was snappy and direct - kept me going right to the end!

http://kbnelson.wordpress.com/2012/05/05/friday-flash-fiction-demolition/

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