I scream aloud.
I feel the burning tension of my rage.
I feel alone.
I taste the tears only found in solitude.
I taste blood.
I wait for the rage to depart as my life slips away.
I wait to leave.
When will this suffering be done with?
When will I die?
How can the Fates be so cruel?
How can I live?
Where is the joy that once was?
Where is my love?
I scream with the anguish of a love that is lost.
I scream aloud
 
 
I see her lovely face and cry
The one I loved in time gone by
Now so distant and so cold
She loves me not, so I've been told

Bitter words and angry phrases
No longer do her lips give praises
Now so distant and so cold
She loves me not, so I've been told

What I would do to hear her sigh
To see a smile in her sad eyes
Now so distant and so cold
She loves me not, so I've been told
 
 
She is a mother, but not a wife
In the arms of another, her passion lies

Why can't her husband make her feel that way?
So lost in his own life they live day to day
Passing each other like ships in the night
And he longs to hold her but it doesn't feel right

There came a man with arms so strong
Who spoke to her heart in lyric and song
And though her passion was dim glowing embers
The fire roars again as he makes her remember

She lay at peace, in his arms, in his bed,
Until a vision troubled her head
She saw the eyes of her little ones
So out of his house to her children she runs

She cries when she thinks of his arms around her
But nothing is worth this love that surrounds her
She opens her eyes and though feeling alone
She looks in their eyes and she knows she is home

She is a mother, but not a wife
In the eyes of her children, her true love lies
 
 
In vain, I hide from the shadow of myself
And all that I love, I destroy
Why is the most beautiful soul in this world
Plagued with a love for this boy?
A beautiful woman so trusting and true
The one who always helped me through
Why does she love this boy?
Where does she find her joy?

Humbly, my eyes turn down and away
It makes me want to cry
For though my love is a lantern bright
And love for her have I
I fear my love consumes
As if a flame of death
In truth, I hate to hurt her so
For she is, to me, my breath
How can I become as she?
What is it she sees in me?

The time for questions is long gone by
The time for action is here
From this day forth I'm hers in full
Forever and a year
Lord, help me make this proclamation
Lest I fall to heart's damnation
From this day forth, my heart is hers
From this day forth, my soul is yours

 
 
Within these prison walls,
Trusting Him to set me free.
But, how long is the waiting?

Shackles of selfishness,
Confines of conceit,
Tormented by my own forked tongue

Within these prison walls.

Carnal dreams which rattle me,
Anger that won't let me go,
Hypocrisy is my own self-righteousness.

Within these prison walls.

All of my bridges burned,
A lonely violin, my companion,
These walls I built with my own hands.

Within these prison walls.

O you, who are greater than I,
Destroy the works of my wickedness.
Undo my devious designs.

Within these prison walls.

I raise my cry to you!
In every step I have faltered.
I am not worthy of pity.

Within these prison walls.

So far away from where I began,
How can I get back home?
How can I break these chains?

Within these prison walls,
Trusting Him to set me free,
But, how long is the waiting?
 
 
Upon the frost, and all I've lost
My thoughts they now are dwelling
Once green and bold, then red and gold
The leaves a story are telling
Yesterday, all was gay
Her soul ablaze as autumn
Now cold as stone, I'm left alone
Like the leaves from my home I have fallen
 
 
Picture
So many times I've said, "I'm sorry"
Yet done the same again.
I know my words would sometimes cut,
Although I've called you friend
Can I repay those special years,
The friendship that you gave?
No, I am but a simple fool
And that's how I behave.

Here's to you for the things you've done
To make me who I am
And though we touched but never kissed
It was you who made me a man
We shared our thoughts and fondest dreams
At times, we'd laugh out loud
You showed me that there's nothing wrong
With shining in a crowd.

I know that you were not perfect
And sometimes, I was right
People thought that we were lovers
The way we would scream and fight
Strange how as time passes
The bad times all grow dim
Fondly, I remember you
And sigh, "I miss you Kim" 

It's been so long, Oh how I long
To hear from you again
I hold you dear as a special friend
The way it has always been
And if you feel that you were wronged
Or used as if a coat
I want to say I'm sorry
In this my final note

How can I say I'm sorry
When I don't mean a word I say
Vincent and his "Starry Nights"
Are far from who I am
A dreamer, poet, dancing fool
A player in the band
Now, I'm not sorry for who I am
Or that we ever met
Or sorry that we danced that dance
On a night I won't forget
But, how can I say I'm sorry
When I don't mean a word I say? 


 

Chapters

04/26/2011

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Picture
Born to bliss in ignorance
Basking in our innocence

Knowledge comes like Adam's guilt
Soon the walls of lies are built

What a joy when first we love
Soar on wings to Heaven above

'Til lies and flesh and discontent
Our tender hearts have cruelly rent

Joy and sorrow, love and rage
Each tomorrow marks a page

Hearty laughter, mournful sighs
These are the chapters of our lives

Lost in dark and tragedy
Dwelling on life's mystery

Out of the darkness into the light
The Spirit comes and sets me right

All alone without a friend
Wishing that my life might end

Eyes that care a tender touch
That say you love me very much

Joy and sorrow, love and rage
Each tomorrow marks a page

Hearty laughter, mournful sighs
These are the chapters of our lives