_ Lance is taking off this week.  While I somehow doubt he has any friends or family, he claims he was celebrating Thanksgiving.  In the mean time, Lance left a translation of the week that he hopes will help you in your relationships.

"Can you please help me?"

_

_Girlfriend:  When your girlfriend asks if you can help her, she is actually testing you to see how much that you will do for her even though she can do it for herself.  If you continue to acquiesce, there is a good chance this little minx may end up your wife, when she realizes what a sucker you are.
_Wife:  When your wife asks if you can help her, what she actually means to say is.  "I want you to do this by yourself while I watch and criticize you for doing it the wrong way (which is anyway other than the way I would do it."
_Boyfriend/Husband:  Ladies, if your boyfriend or husband asks you for help, you'd better keep an eye on that "buddy" of his Tyrone.  There's a good chance they are doing more than going to play golf together if you know what I'm saying.



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