The Eyes of a Child

1/27/2012

19 Comments

 
This week's prompt from Madison Woods wasn't conducive to either of my current novels so here is a one-off vignette for your reading enjoyment.
Picture
_ "Billy, what are you gawking at?  I taught you better than to stare."

"The man in the tan cap is Wolverine."

Mom laughed.  "Lots of men have beards and wear sunglasses."
"Look mom, the conductor has lobster claws for hands."
"No Billy, those are just mittens, I'm sure he has normal hands underneath.  Now come on we need to get going."

"Mom look!"

"What is it now Billy? I'm tired and I want to go home."

"There is a two-headed slime-covered monster about to eat the conductor."

"For goodness' sake Billy, I'm sure it's just a …Billy?"

"Yes mom?"

"Run!"

19 Comments
Jen link
1/26/2012 10:01:50 pm

Fantastic! You made me laugh out loud at the end. Well done, Billy!

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Susie Lindau link
1/26/2012 10:24:13 pm

Wow! I love the conversation! It really pulled me in...Awesome last line...

Here is mine. You are welcome to leave a link in my comment section as well.
http://susielindau.com/2012/01/27/just-another-day-100-word-flash-fiction/

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Judee link
1/26/2012 10:33:05 pm

Loved it! You really capture the voices of mom and child, and the twist at the end is such fun.

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Mike link
1/26/2012 11:12:13 pm

A wonderful story. Had me smiling at the great ending.
Amazing how just one word 'Run!" can conjure up so many images.
Thanks for a great read.

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Karen Nelson link
1/26/2012 11:34:38 pm

I love this! The interaction between the mother and son is perfect!

Here's my Friday Flash:

Here's my Friday bit:

http://kbnelson.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/friday-flash-drip/

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ron pruitt
1/26/2012 11:56:02 pm

Great fun story. You found a way to introduce humor and used dialog very effectively. Good storytelling!
Here's mine: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/

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The Lime link
1/27/2012 12:06:35 am

Hilarious. And what a believable interaction. Great job!

Here's mine: http://thecolorlime.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/time-pause-play-rewind-101/

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Vincent link
1/27/2012 12:55:52 am

Great little story. Lots of fun to read.

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John Hardy Bell link
1/27/2012 01:14:56 am

And the children shall lead them... away from the two-headed slime colored monster!

That was a real joy to read! Great work!

Here is my contribution to the Fictioneering http://wp.me/pReXn-ev

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lindaura link
1/27/2012 01:36:17 am

That was quite a caper. Good dialogue, good story, hilarious ending.

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Jake Kale link
1/27/2012 03:13:54 am

This brings to mind the Space Mutant films Bart used to watch in the early episodes of The Simpsons. I feel all nostalgic now, so thanks for indirectly inspiring that!

Here's mine.
http://jaykayel.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/my-first-time-100-word-flash-fiction/

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carlos link
1/27/2012 03:22:33 am

Really funny! So good to see some humour here! Lobster claws foe hands is great.

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Susan link
1/27/2012 06:24:44 am

At first I thought you meant a Michigan Wolverine which would have been HORRIFYING to me...haha. Funny how kids notice the detail we adults fail to notice.

~Susan (Here's mine: http://www.susanwenzel.com/)

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Douglas MacIlroy link
1/27/2012 03:28:01 pm

Dear Wakefield,

That was a great story. So does that mean the first guy WAS Wolverine? Loved it.

Aloha,

Doug

http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/

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Madison Woods link
1/27/2012 09:19:25 pm

Good one! Well executed and humorous, too. And although we both saw monsters in there we came from different perspectives. I enjoyed that, thanks.

See you next week!

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Jan Morrill link
1/27/2012 09:32:21 pm

Fantastic! I love the fantasy and the twist at the end. Very clever! Hope they got away!

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Robin Hawke link
1/27/2012 11:41:20 pm

Good choice to make this a dialogue piece, added a lot to the pace, Robin

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Rinn link
1/29/2012 12:23:20 pm

This made me laugh so much! This is exactly the sort of conversation my nephew would have...except perhaps the running part, but one never knows these days, does one? ;)

The link to my drabble is: http://quillshiv.wordpress.com/2012/01/26/grounds/

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Parul link
1/31/2012 02:06:50 pm

Wow! Loved this.. great dialog!

Here is my late entry this time:
http://faitaccompli.wordpress.com/2012/01/30/grow-up-now/

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